The Sakuma Phone Conversations
by Batty-chan
Summary: Poor Ryuichi Sakuma is bored to death...and so is Kumagoro! With his new cell phone...he concocts a way to keep himself occupied. By calling all of his friends of course! Oh my, who will he call next? [Many conversations to come!]
1. K

**The Sakuma Phone Conversations!**

_Disclaimer: I wish that I owned Gravitation, especially Ryuichi. But since I don't, I'm just gonna write some killer fanfiction and be a nerd. I need a life, I know. XD_

_Conversation One: Victim - K, also known as Claude Winchester.  
_

Ryuichi Sakuma was bored.

He was busy telling this to his best friend, Kumagoro who, crossing his plush pink arms, was agreeing completely.

Sakuma-san also had a new cell phone. This sparked an idea to come to life in Ryuichi. He was gonna have some FUN!

Helping Kumagoro dial a number, he snickered a little, and put the phone to his own ear.

"K here."

Ryuichi kept in his laughter the best he could, and changed his voice a little, hoping K wouldn't recognize him right away. "No way. You're not him, I think I'd know his voice."

Pause. The deep voice on the other line came again, suspicious and a little menacing. "Who is this? If you're some idiot newsperson looking for information on Bad Luck, call back later so I can track your number and find where you live. It'd be a pleasure to SHOOT YOU." Maniacal laughter drifted up through the earpiece, dying down so that the speaker could mutter something in English. "You catch my drift?"

Ryuichi pouted a little, listening to K speaking. He didn't like it when people spoke too much Japanese; it confused him because he couldn't remember a lot of it. "You want to take pictures of me? K, I didn't know you were a pervert!"

Silence. The phone sweat dropped, probably because K was at the moment himself. "No, not the camera kind of shoot! Do you not speak Japanese or something?"

…

"Ryuichi!"

Panic! "No! It's…it's…it's not Ryuichi, cause it's Mr. Bear! That's right."

K sighed on the other line, and Nittle Grasper's lead singer knew he was caught. "Ryu-chan, I know you better than anyone else in the world does. I know 'Mr. Bear' is a pseudonym for Kumagoro."

"…Do you still wanna take pictures of me, K?"

Sweat drop. "Maybe later? I've got to go. Bubble wrap is driving me nuts here—Err. I meant, 'work is really killing me here.'" More laughter. K-san was scary, but Ryuichi liked him a lot; he was fun!

Ryuichi pouted more. "Fine, but you have to play with me later. I'm bored K, I'm really bored, I'm really bored, really really really really…."

Click!

Turning off the phone, he looked to Kumagoro and blinked. "You think we should call Shuichi's house next? Oh, that'd be perfect! He'd play with us for sure, wouldn't he Kumagoro?"

_Author's Notes: I'm psychotic, and I'm bored too. XD This isn't meant as a serious fic, obviously, but it's fun to write, maa. You can flame it if you want, it'll deserve it. XD  
More conversations to come! Forgive the yaoi implications…._


	2. Touma Seguchi

**The Sakuma Phone Conversations!**

_Disclaimer: I wish that I owned Gravitation, especially Ryuichi. But since I don't, I'm just gonna write some killer fanfiction and be a nerd. I need a life, I know. XD_

_Conversation Two: Victim – Touma Seguchi, keyboardist for Nittle Grasper. _

Ryuichi tapped the power button, pouting softly at his new cell phone. It bleeped to life, a midi version of "Sleepless Beauty" playing as he toyed with it.

Shuichi wouldn't pick up the phone. It made Sakuma-san a little mad; he knew that his friend was at home. He also knew that **Yuki Eiri** lived there with him too.

Sweat dropping, the genius singer lifted Kumagoro from his lap, looking to him. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Kuma-chan?" He glared a little and leaned in, listening intently to his cohort. He sighed, nodding with complete agreement at the answer he received. "I think that Shuichi's being _bad_ too. Either that, or Eiri-san got really mad and threw the phone at him again. Or both."

With a giggle, Ryuichi shook his head free of the image.

Blink. Blinkity blink. Ryuichi looked down to his pink partner in crime, who was currently forcing him to dial a number. "Oh, who are we calling Kuma-chan?" Pulling the phone close to his face, the singer looked to the information on the little screen closely.

And ended up falling from his perch on the couch, when a familiar, "Moshi moshi, NG Records. Touma Seguchi speaking," sounded on speakerphone.

He was a little disappointed in himself, but he couldn't help it. He squealed with delight and laughed, cuddling Kumagoro gently as he did so. "TOUUUUUUUUMA!"

There was a pause reminiscent of the one during his conversation with K. But the voice remained calm, soft; it even seemed a little amused. "Ryuichi? Why, hello Ryuichi."

Pout. The singer held the phone out delicately, lifting Kumagoro up as if it would allow the other man to see it. "You forgot somebody! You really must hate him if you forget him all the time! And if you do, you're really mean. And Ryu-chan doesn't like mean people. Nope, not at all!"

Another pause, then Touma's voice came in even softer tones than before. "I offer my apologies, Kumagoro-chan. I was just very excited to hear from Ryuichi."

Damn, that man knew how to get out of things!

"Okay, Kumagoro forgives you for now! But if you do it again, he'll be really mad."

Quiet laughter. "All right, I understand. It won't happen again."

"Really REALLY really mad."

"Definitely not again."

"Super, terrifically, awfully, extremely, ultra, UBER mad!"

"So, what is it that you needed, Ryu-chan?"

Silence.

"Um…just wanted to talk to you! Guess what K-san wants to do?"

Ryuichi could almost hear his friend blinking on the other line. He didn't know why though, it was pretty easy to understand what he was saying. "Erm, what is it that K-san wants to do? This isn't something like what we discussed the other day…is it Ryuichi?"

"No, no, nothing bad like that." Sometimes the singer wished he had never told Touma about that encounter with his manager…. He never let things like that go. Sweat drop.

"No, no, he wants to shoot me and Kuma!"

More audible blinking. "Doesn't he always want to do that? Isn't that like K-san's only hobby….shooting things?"

"Touma, no. He wants to take pictures, isn't that great? And besides, he likes other things too! I mean, just the other day, me and him were playing this wonderful game…He's really good at it, you know!"

After a slight pause, Touma coughed a little and made some weird high-pitched sound. "Oh, listen to that. I'm sorry Ryuichi; I've been waiting for this call all day. I'll call _you _back sometime, all right?" _Oh! Touma didn't make that sound. It was his phone! _

More pouting, and the singer whined loudly, kicking his feet with irritation. "But I'm so bored Touma. Please play with me? You're no fun!"

"Go call Shindou-san. I'm sure he'd be delighted to hear from you. I've gotta go now, Ryu. I hope to see you soon…and please, don't play any more 'games' with K-san, okay?"

As he opened his mouth to answer, he heard Touma set down the phone. Turning off his own, he looked down to his best friend, Kumagoro. "I don't get it Kuma-chan…. Why doesn't Touma want me to play mahjong with K anymore? Oh well…"

Who else was home…?

_Author's Notes: More yaoi implications…a little language here and there. Poor Touma. You can still flame me if you'd like. It's mindless and funny though! XD You love it! Ryu-chan would be proud, xD_


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